Most of us have an idea of what it means to play the edge in an asana pose.  Finding that place of challenge and sensation in the body without pushing too far.  Finding ease in that space and just being there until that joyous moment when the body seems to just open up into a deeper, fuller expression of the pose.  I recently saw this happen in one of my yoga teacher training sessions and it truly was a moment of bliss for both the student and teacher.  I too felt the joy just by watching!  

When I think about it, so many levels of holdings had to be surpassed to make this moment  possible.   The student needed strength, flexibility, balance, dedication, hope & courage, she needed to trust & have faith in her teacher and, the teacher needed to offer her patience, support, guidance & encouragement.  While in the end she is the one who actually did the pose, the benefits rippled out.   She now has a new place to go to in her practice.  A place that was once so scary can now become a place to grow and explore.

For me this really is the essence of the practice.  While I haven’t mastered any new asanas as of late, I have been open to playing the edges of life more and more.  I’ve been practicing yoga for almost 10 years and, love how the teachings from the mat can be applied to life and vice versa.

There are a lot of poses in life that are challenging and some that are flat-out scary but, if we let our fears stop us from living we will never find what is waiting for us on the other side.  Which would be a shame since  in the case of my fellow teacher trainee it happened to be pure joy & bliss!

Perhaps then  if we approach a life obstacle like we do a difficult asana.  First, seeing & recognizing the challenge, grounding & centering, breathing, practicing with dedication, building strength, being flexible, staying balanced, having courage, relying on others for support & encouragement and not losing hope then the moment will simply come when an opportunity will open up for us and life will become fuller and deeper.  A new place to go to where we can grow and explore.  
In the past few years my life has opened up in many ways and my heart sings in gratitude for these new places of love, growth and exploration!  From growing a new relationship & family to the challenge of taking the 200 hour Teacher Training program at Boundless Yoga to recognizing and seeing the challenges that lie ahead...I have learned that life is much fuller and joyful when you play the edge.

I went to my first yoga class close to 20 years ago. It was in a small studio that looked like it was someone’s living room. It was cozy and intimate. The teachers were nice and generally helpful. However, after taking a few classes, I stopped going. I was a runner at the time and just didn’t feel at ease with group exercise or movement that didn’t involve impact. A few years later, my husband and I became pregnant with our first child and yoga was recommended by our natural childbirth instructor as a way to stay in shape while helping my body prepare for the upcoming birth. So, I made my return to yoga. I faithfully went to prenatal yoga classes each week until the birth of my son and was so grateful I did. The hours of labor were hard but not impossible with yoga’s meditation and squatting on my side. Over the next few years I would continue this dance with yoga; gathering what I would need from it for a span of time, moving away from it, but then, inevitably, always coming back. The birth of my third son would prove to be not only a near death experience but also a wake up call. Post delivery I was diagnosed with lupus, told that full recovery from the birth might take years, and that I would need to be on drugs for the rest of my life. The prospect of being unable to run, skate, exercise, or do any of the physical things that made me feel alive and quite frankly, made me feel like ‘me’ was extremely depressing and disheartening. After months of bed rest, struggling with sickness, and needing some physical outlet, I once again turned to yoga. I started small. I bought a 5 class card at Boundless Yoga. I told myself “Do what you can. Don’t get yourself sick. Don’t push too hard.” I attended my first class. My arms shook in downward dog and I thought about walking out.  I stayed that whole class, took nearly every modification, and felt drained and overjoyed all at once when I finished that night. I continued with yoga as I could over that first year. I would practice and let my body guide my movements. A few times I pushed my limits too far and ended up sick in bed for a few weeks.  Once I felt well enough to practice again I got right back on my mat. Sometimes just the act of sitting on my squishy blue mat gave me energy and joy and that was enough. I became incredibly humble as I learned what my body was incapable of doing and yet incredibly hopeful because I felt hope for a new beginning. Over the past two years I have learned to love my body, with all its limitations and I owe that to yoga entirely. Classes at Boundless challenge me, inspire me, force me to push my boundaries, and accept that my journey is unlike anyone else’s. I practice daily as a reminder to myself that every day is a fresh start and that it is an honor to wake up and be able to stand on my mat and begin again.

Oh how you nestle between the minimus gluteus and the superior gemellus,

Oh how you hide so deep inside that posterior wall,

Oh how you pulsate pain to the hip,

Oh how I love to hate you.

Oh how much you need to be isolated, rotated, stretched and massaged,

Oh how your neighbors inside would like you removed,

Oh how easy the flow could become,

Oh how I love to hate you.

Oh how you instantly tighten and strain with just the mention of your name,

Oh how you create such a stressful place in a peaceful mind,

Oh how much you dominate the brain,

Oh how I love to hate you.

Oh how many days are spent with the feeble attempt to loosen your grip,

Oh you can’t escape the ultimate end my pear shaped friend,

Oh yes someday you will be flexible and free,

Oh how I love to hate you.

Oh how someday the tables will turn and you will be my servant,

Oh how you will become the fulcrum for everything I do,

Oh my poses will expose you for all the world to see,

Oh how I will love to love you.